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第15部分（第2页）

Nate　squeezed　his　green　eyes　shut；　hoping　when　he　opened　them　he’d　discover　he’d　been　dreaming　during　one　of　his　daily　naps　in　the　cow　barn。　But　when　he　opened　his　eyes；　he　saw　the　dark；　overcast　sky；　hovering　above　the　Upper　East　Side　rooftops。　The　clouds　looked　ominous；　ready　to　unleash　a　torrent　of　hail　that　would　destroy　the　white　lilies　outside　the　church。

A　tear　begin　to　trickle　down　the　side　of　Nate’s　nose。　He　squinted　to　try　to　stop　the　flow；　but　it　was　no　use。

“Fuck　it。”　He　roughly　wiped　his　eyes　with　the　back　of　his　hand。

“Dude；　you　okay？”　Chuck　pulled　his　gold　Gucci　aviators　out　of　his　pocket　and　handed　them　to　Nate。　“You’re　crying；”　he　remarked；　unnecessarily　but　not　unkindly。

“Thanks；　man。　It’s　just　a　lot…。”　Nate’s　voice　cracked。　Chuck　had　been　surprisingly　thoughtful　this　trip；　but　he　hadn’t　known　Chips；　and　Nate　felt　like　this　was　something　he　needed　to　handle　on　his　own。

“Are　you　Nathaniel？”　A　tiny；　elderly　woman　wearing　a　pink　tweed　St。　John’s　suit　wobbled　from　the　church　entrance　toward　him　on　a　pair　of　black　Prada　pumps。

Nate　nodded。　Did　he　know　this　lady？

“Well；　aren’t　you　handsome；”　she　mused；　smiling　broadly　as　if　they’d　met　at　a　charity　event　and　not　outside　a　funeral。

“Thanks；”　Nate　grunted。　He　was　used　to　women　of　all　ages　menting　on　his　looks。　It　was　just　a　fact　of　his　life；　like　the　fact　he　liked　to　sail　and　was　naturally　good　at　lacrosse。

Hey；　it’s　not　bragging　if　it’s　true。

“You　know；　Charles　never　had　a　son。　I　see　why　he　took　a　shine　to　you。　I’m　his　sister；　Nan。　He　and　I　had　our　differences；　but　I　won’t　speak　ill　of　the　dead；”　she　clucked　as　she　reached　into　her　ivory…colored　Chanel　purse。　“This　is　for　you；”　she　said；　thrusting　a　thick；　ivory…colored　envelope　in　his　hand。　“And；　of　course；　you’re　invited　to　the　small　luncheon　I’m　having　for　friends。　It’s　at　my　apartment。　Shall　I　give　you　the　address？”　she　asked　expectantly。

“I’m　afraid—I　can’t　attend；”　Nate　said　haltingly；　hoping　he　wasn’t　being　rude。　All　he　wanted　to　do　was　go　home；　curl　up　in　his　bed；　and　shut　the　world　out。　He　wondered　if　he　had　any　pot　knotted　in　a　black　dress　sock　stuffed　in　the　back　of　his　top　drawer。　He　hadn’t　wanted　to　smoke　in　ages；　but　right　now　he　wanted　to　enter　a　deep　pot…induced　haze　and　never　e　out。

Nan　gazed　at　Nate　quizzically。　Deep　crinkles　appeared　around　the　edges　of　her　blue　eyes；　eyes　that　if　he　looked　at　from　a　certain　angle；　reminded　him　of　Chips’s。　“Of　course。　Good　luck；　son；”　she　added　as　she　tottered　away　on　her　high　heels。

“Thanks。”　Nate　regarded　the　wrinkled　cream…colored　envelope　quizzically。　A　wet　snowflake　landed　on　the　envelope；　smearing　the　N　in　his　name。　Now　it　looked　more　like　Fate。

“Ready　to　get　out　of　here？”　he　asked　Chuck　as　he　marched　down　the　wide　stone　steps。　He　wondered　if　he　could　get　a　flight　back　to　California　tonight。　“I　think　I’m　going　back　to　the　airport。　See　if　I　can　get　back　to　Deep　Springs；”　Nate　explained　as　they　waited　for　the　light　to　cross　Lexington。

Chuck　looked　at　him　skeptically。　There　was　a　glimmer　of　how　he　used　to　look　back　in　high　school；　whenever　someone　suggested　leaving　a　party。　“Are　you　sure　about　that？”

Nate　stiffened；　balling　his　hands　in　his　jacket　pockets。　“Yes；”　he　said　firmly。　There　was　no　one　in　New　York　he　wanted　to　see。　New　York　was　bad　for　him—full　of　past　mistakes　and　regrets。

In　little　black　dresses。

The　light　changed　and　they　crossed　the　street。　“It’s　New　Year’s　Eve。　No　way　will　you　be　able　to　get　out　of　here。　Just　stay　a　couple　days。”　Chuck　pointed　out；　trailing　behind　him　across　Eightieth　Street。　Snow　was　beginning　to　stick　to　the　street；　blanketing　the　city　in　a　thin　layer　of　white。　“Besides；　I’m　having　a　party。”

Nate　stopped　in　the　middle　of　the　sidewalk　and　turned　to　Chuck。　Didn’t　he　get　it？　He’d　just　been　at　the　funeral　of　someone　who’d　meant　a　lot　to　him；　and　all　Chuck　could　talk　about　was　a　party？　“I　don’t　party　anymore；”　Nate　said　flatly。

“Too　busy　feeling　sorry　for　yourself？”　Chuck　asked；　briefly　losing　his　patience。

Nate　narrowed　his　green　eyes。　Chuck　sounded　like　Chips。　Nate　could　almost　conjure　the　salt…sea　air；　standing　on　the　deck　of　the　Belinda；　Chips　angrily　waving　his　tumbler　of　scotch　out　to　an　uncaring　ocean。　“e　on！”　Chuck　said；　slapping　Nate　on　the　back　as　if　to　force　him　to　buck　up。

Chuck　put　hailed　a　cab。　“You’re　ing　with　me；”　he　manded；　pushing　Nate　into　the　backseat。

Aye；　aye；　Captain！

bohemian　like　them

“Is　that　it？　Or　was　that　just　your　winter…into…spring　wardrobe？　At　least　summer　into　fall　might　be　slightly　lighter。”　Hollis　wiped　his　brow　theatrically　and　plopped　down　on　the　red　hemp…fiber　sewn　couch。　He　sighed　in　exhaustion；　as　if　he’d　nearly　broken　his　back。　Really；　all　he’d　done　was　help　Vanessa　carry　her　two　suitcases　of　worldly　possessions　into　the　new　Williamsburg　apartment。

The　new　apartment；　on　the　right　side　of　the　sugar　factory　this　time。　In　a　brand…new　luxury　building　with　a　concierge。　“Shut　up！”　Vanessa　teased；　perching　on　the　overstuffed　taupe　ottoman　across　from　him。

After　Dan　had　kicked　her　out　of　the　Humphreys’　last　year；　Vanessa　had　felt　lost　and　heartbroken。　Not　to　ment